Hey there! Let's talk about something I see all the time in my practice – the curse of being "too chill." You know that friend who never seems rattled, always has it together, and handles everyone else's drama while seemingly floating above it all? Yeah, that person might be struggling more than you think.
Here's the thing: presenting as perpetually unbothered isn't always the flex we think it is. Sometimes it's our anxiety wearing a really good costume. When we're constantly trying to be the easy-going one, we might actually be avoiding conflict, suppressing our needs, or struggling to be authentic in our relationships.
Three signs you might be "too chill":
- Your go to response to every inconvenience is "it's fine," before you even think about your feelings
- You worry that expressing needs makes you high-maintenance
- Your inner monologue is both chaotic and mean to you, but your outward expression is the epitome of zen
The plot twist? Being "chill" can actually make our relationships less authentic. When we never show our struggles, we deny others the chance to support us. Plus, it's exhausting to maintain that perfect, unbothered facade.
Ready to get real? Try this:
- Start small - practice expressing minor preferences or disagreements
- Remind yourself that having needs doesn't make you needy
- Challenge the belief that being low-maintenance equals being loveable
Remember: Real relationships can handle your real feelings. Your anxiety about being "too much" is probably way bigger than anyone else's reaction will be.
Let's normalize having normal human emotions, shall we?