So You’re The ‘Understanding One’ In Your Relationship? Let’s Talk About That

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 · 
December 5, 2024
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2 min read
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Let's be honest - being the emotionally aware partner who's always "fine" with everything isn't sustainable. Coming from someone who's been there, here's what you need to know about being too understanding.

The Familiar Situation: You're that person who gets everyone's perspective. The one who says "I totally understand" even when things don't sit right. Your empathy is incredible, but it might also be working against you.

The Hard Truth:

  • Your emotional awareness is a strength, not a crutch
  • Being agreeable about everything isn't actually helping anyone
  • Your needs matter just as much as everyone else's

How to Break the Pattern:

  1. Question Your Habits - Notice when you're being understanding versus when you're avoiding discomfort. There's a difference, and it matters.
  2. Trust Your Body's Signals - That knot in your stomach before agreeing to something? It's trying to tell you something. Your body often knows your boundaries before your mind catches up.
  3. Speak Your Truth - You can disagree with someone and still be compassionate. Your perspective deserves space in the conversation.
  4. Embrace Boundaries - Setting boundaries isn't harsh - it's essential for healthy relationships. Think of them as guidelines for deeper connection, not walls that keep people out.
  5. Own Your Story - Stop treating yourself like a supporting character. Your feelings, needs, and experiences deserve just as much attention as anyone else's.

The Bottom Line: Being emotionally intelligent is a gift, but not if you're using it to minimize your own needs. You can be understanding while having boundaries. It's about finding balance, not choosing sides.